A WEEK OF UNCERTAINTY AND THE MUSIC THAT IS ON REPEAT

 

Ready?

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I am not fond of sugarcoating things. Granted, yes, I prefer poetry which tends to mostly be of prose and flowery words, but I am a pretty darn direct person. I tend to say what I want to say and blurt out things without even thinking. Tactless; you may call it that. And a tad sarcastic at times. Over the course of months, with the help of a newfound friend in social media (this blog actually) I have been examining myself and asking why I am the way I am and why certain people do not get me. And while it is easy to just shrug this off as, “fuck them, they don’t know me”, in the workplace, I have come to realize it is a highly different matter entirely. In a previous post, I have shared on how happy I was that I got in a company whilst still studying and that there was a potential for me to be absorbed after I graduate. Yes…long story short, I got in. Signed contracts. Got paid – Obviously; and in a matter of months, I was an official employee of the company. It did not take long for me to adjust as is the natural me and the work environment was (at first) so appealing and accommodating. Over time though, I have come to realize the many things I do not like in one institution, particularly the one trait that made my father lose his job, is in the company I currently worked for. Faced with such issues, and with the aforementioned attitude I have, words came flying quicker than any bullet train. Now, keep in mind that the workmates I have are friends (family friends, in fact) and colleagues back at my own alma mater. Hence, the comfortability of using cuss words and just being my own self without too much regard for GMRC. Anyway…long story short, they said my views were too immature and that when working, one must always think of the consequences of one’s words and that sometimes, some words are better left unsaid. I, on the other hand, being me and knowing them as friends, told them my story. Nevertheless, the consequences were dire. I was too honest. I told my employer I was leaving anyway by June. I told them I was applying for a certain company I wasn’t sure I’d get in. And yes, as any good employer would have done, they terminated the contract. There are two good things that came out of this. One. I no longer have to pay a training fee which I would have if I resigned. Two. It’s easier to leave like this. However, a major mistake is that I included them in most of the companies I applied for and just one call from the HR company would be the death of me! I am leaving on amicable terms, I tell you, but I was overly anxious at the time my brain waves may not have been working as properly as they could.

 

So there I was… about to be jobless two days before my birthday, just 15 days shy from the end of my contract. And so I did what any sane person would have done. job.gifI applied for other jobs I was sure I’d get accepted! When the going gets tough, you gotta be tougher! My mother raised no quitter so I immediately went right in to my dear old friend Google and looked for jobs within the vicinity. I tell you and kid you not! The process was tedious! For a whole week! I had to actually go to various companies passing resumes and stuff and had to endure examinations! At one point, I was even considering not pushing through in one company because I was tired and I had to take the same type of exams all over again and had to endure technical exams required for the position I was applying for which is probably a lot harder than the board examinations!

AND…

In a span of one week…

I have learned:

 

  1. Things will never go according to planned.

You could have a scheduled interview and examination for one day and then be called right back in the afternoon! And this …you gotta do all in one day. Imagine just having to go to one company vying for a position you are not the only one qualified for. It is tiresome. My parents weren’t kidding when they said that applying for a job is not an easy thing. The time, money, and effort it takes is beyond anyone can imagine.

  1. Prepare for vultures.

I know the term ‘vultures’ is a very harsh and uncategorical term but I swear, if someone stares down at me while interviewing me about my skills and why I am competent enough, I feel like I am a dead soul trying to convince them that I can somehow come back from the dead! HR questions are always just personal stuff and so easy to answer, but the feeling after taking the interview is what keeps bugging me. Fleeting moments of self-doubt and weariness overcome me after every interview. I have to work on it but yeah…it’s who I am for now.

  1. Prepare for calls that never come.

You are the applicant. Learn your place and don’t be too arrogant. If they say they will call you, you need to wait.

 

 

That third one? Hah! Crap. tumblr_inline_mjlpqxywib1qz4rgp_zpse93d5385.gifAs an applicant, you must be eager. And boy was I eager. I had the news on the 30th of May that I was scheduled for an interview on the 1st of June. I got scheduled for the final interview at the same day too but unfortunately higher-ups were busy with certain matters on hand so I had to wait for the call. June 2nd came and I was literally bursting with anxiety. Did I get in or not? What was the point of asking me all those and reassuring me that they would train me and whatnots and that the job would be lucrative? Why then did I reach the final interview and not get so much as a “Oh sorry, you have not passed, you’re not hired. Thank you.” I emailed, texted, and followed up with regards to my application. I flat out asked them if I was still considered for the job and asked how long the process would be. Self pity was creeping down my back ready to blanket me for the night as I came back from another option (another possible employer) when they texted me.  Gosh! They finally contacted me for the final interview! And there I was, phone at hand, knees shaking, talking to the management and the last question came. I gave my answer and in a split second… “Congratulations! Welcome to ___. You are now a part of our team.” Blah..blah..blah as questions for further requirements were given and I had to dazingly say yes to every one of them.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam indeed! To God be the Glory! He is good and gracious and merciful! In a week, just 13 days shy of my supposed contract termination, I am now a part of a team I want to be in. I am in a job I want and I will be doing what I do best. Work with numbers.

This is my story.
A week. 2 days. June 2nd. Birthday is in 15 days. This day (month!) could not get any better. Forgive me for being too brassy about it but I think I deserve this. I have had work prior to graduation and those have prepared me into being someone better not only as a writer, a professional and a person, but also as ME. I am never going to sacrifice my roots for anything at all and I am happy that I have found a place I feel comfortable in. I will start work immediately, tomorrow, and I am keeping my fingers crossed all the way to the end.

 

Signed,

Meitantei M.Gin

 

 

P.S. Yo! How cool is that? I get to leave for the training soon too! I am set to fly to Manila this Monday, June 5th. AMDG! Amen!

 

 

Now let’s flip the coin…

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Theater has been such an inspiration for me ever since I was a kid. I grew up idolizing films like Phantom of the Opera and reading to plays of Shakespeare and watching Broadway Musicals. It seems fitting then that the last song I will share for the Song A Day Challenge is one from the likes of these. The song is entitled, For Good from the Musical Wicked. My favorite version is that of Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel. The play was about the two witches of Oz and their story. A story of friendship, love and forgiveness between friends, it is a tale truly fitting of the awards they have received. Idina played Elphaba which will later be known as the wicked witch and Glinda the Good was played by Kristin.

[Elphaba:]
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done,
You blame me for.

[Glinda:]
But then I guess,
We know there’s blame to share.

[Both:]
And none of it seems to matter anymore.

I fell in love with the words and with the news I just shared now, this could not be more fitting. I have been through rough times, given the experience I just had with past employers and my mouth (oh sorry) being too spouty and tactless but I have learned. By the words of someone I highly admire, “I don’t call my secrets secrets because I am 100% me when I am with friends…” and I understand. One main factor of being not too much of a jerk is to not say bad things that can only hurt people. Not even behind their back. I have learned a lot from being too trusting and being taken advantage of and the lines of this song is my way of saying sorry and thank you to all the people I may have hurt. Because one thing is for sure – I may have, in one way or another, said some things and did things that hurt them… but we were friends for a time and if I hadn’t known them, perhaps…just perhaps… I haven’t been changed for good.

Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.

 

I love you all! I know you miss me so I’ll be posting new chocolates soon! I assure you I didn’t stop writing. Just …went AWOL for a bit. Twitter became my buddy and someone named J. Hahah. Cheerios! Until the next laugh trip and happiness at its worst!

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Meitantei signing off.

Another thankful note: Two Awards

Shayma nominated me for awards. Truly grateful. It has been such a pleasure receiving wondrous recognition from people and fellow bloggers that “Thank you” would never be enough to fully express the gratitude. So… what I will say then, is this: It is an honor and a privilege to know you all – even though only from the other side of the screen and half of whom not in your ‘given name’.

Oscar worthy speech. Check.

First Award: This or that, Book Tag

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The Rules:

  • Mention the creator of the award
  • Thank the blogger who tagged you
  • Choose one of the options, you don’t have to tell the reasons why you chose it but you can if you want to
  • Tag 10 people with < 1000 followers to do this tag to spread the love

This award was created by Ayunda over at Tea & Paperbacks and these are her interesting questions:

  1. Reading on the couch or in bed?

– Easy peasy. I read where no one can see me. That is… if I ever get some ‘alone’ time around here. Bed it is, then. Bed. Blanket. Dim light. Pen. Paper.

  1. Main male characters or main female character?

– I’d really love to say a strong female main character but one look at my bookshelf and you’d call me a hypocrite. Hahah.

  1. Sweet snacks or salty snacks?

– Sweet snacks. Why? Because they’re sweet. Period.

  1. Trilogies or Quartets?

– Neither. I am not a big fan of book series, really. But I enjoy well-written series, at the best of times with more than four books. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Ranger’s Apprentice, Brotherband series… Oh wait. Maybe I am a fan of series; I didn’t know!

  1. First Person POV or Third Person POV?

– This is a hard one to pick. Y’all should know by now I do not stick to one category. I normally read literary fiction so I might have a lot of first person POVs in my arsenal but I always enjoy third person POVs because omnipotence is… one way to get me fired up for drama and thrill, I guess.

  1. Reading at night or in the morning?

– Reading at night. Who doesn’t?

  1. Libraries or Bookstores?

– Bookstores, obviously. And I treat bookstores as libraries anyway.

  1. Books that make you LAUGH or books that make you CRY?

– I don’t know, really. I don’t care? Books that make me … ‘craugh’?

  1. Black Book Cover or White Book Cover?

– Black. There is an exception; of course.

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The exception to it all…
  1. Character Driven Series or Plot Driven Series?

– The hardest one in the bunch. Hmmm… I have literary fiction and thriller mysteries. Not to mention the genre I always prefer when watching films, and/or my go to place whenever I visit my local bookstore. Plot driven series, I guess? Wins by a fraction. But only because I spot the developments of the characters and always look for them in whatever kind of book I read. (Ronald Weasley, remember?)

The exception, once more is…

 

See? Ain’t that grand?

Most of my followers are bloggers who run a blog-free blog, so this one’s a bit hard. I’m going to nominate people who have, in one way or another, had book conversations with me. Enigma has more than 1,000 followers but who cares. You’re nominated, girl! Other nominees are:

Second Award: Versatile Blogger Award

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The Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Share the award on your blog.
  • Share 7 random facts about you.
  • Tag 5 bloggers with less than 1000 followers.
  • Let them know that they have been nominated.

7 Random Facts About Me:

  1. I have two dogs and two cats.
  2. I am a Sherlockian.
  3. I ship Happy and Toby from the series Scorpion.
  4. I don’t drink coffee.
  5. I love sunsets.
  6. I am a Gemini.
  7. There isn’t a word for it yet but “quodophile” seems to be the most popular…

Nominees:

 

P.S. A quick side note to all my readers, I rarely have followers who are not managing a blog-free blog so forgive me if I almost always mention you. *puppy eyes* Let’s spread some love! Let’s take our broken heart and make it into art!

What do stars do? They SHINE.

I Graded my Blog and it got an A+!

A fellow blogger shared a link where one can grade or rate his/her site. Curious and scared, I visited it, typed in my site’s url for what seemed like the gazillionth time I might have had … and quietly waited for the results.

I was expecting a lower mark, obviously, but imagine the shock and the pride when this greets you!

I AM IN AWE OF THE WONDERS OF THE UNIVERSE! Hah. Okay, that was a misplaced joke but yeah. This is awesome, right?! I do not know how they grade me though. If it’s solely based on traffic, I might have scored lower. If based on number of posts, maybe …. yeah. I can understand their rating. But not to sound overly narcissistic than I already am, I am proud of where this online journal has reached. I have had quite a run, literally. Posting almost everyday, numerous posts per day, and just literally about anything! This community and the people I have met have been such great blessings and wonderful additions to my experiences in life.

This is my journal – online journal. Right now, I am all of these.

Happy. Sad. Grieving.

Ecstatic. Sorrowful. Excited.

“1 and two zeroes after”

There is no easy way to say this so I will be quick! Haha.

Today marks my 100th day of blogging and this is my 300th post! This calls for a celebration. Pop the champagne!

 

August 18, of this year, I published my first post in this welcoming community, WordPress, Their Wait  It is a short fanfiction story centered on characters from my favorite fandom, Harry Potter.
A lot of things happened since then. I’ve met new people. Bonded with some of them, (twitter and late night convos count right?) and of course, in my first one hundred days of this wordy adventure, I learned.

HOW IT STARTED

I guess you could say that I started this blog to escape my reality but somewhere along the way, I realized, as I was making this  that this became my reality. But I didn’t want my posts to be mostly like how others share their lives. Videos, vlogs, and cheesy narrations. I have always been a poet,  and I think that life in itself is a poem. Hence, the tagline, living life poetically.

THE STORY SO FAR…

The very first follower! (Deniz Yalim)

To start off. Ain’t that grand? From the very first one. Now here we are…. MANY. More than one is …. MANY!

The very first commenter! (Commenters?)

 

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The very first person to recommend me good stuff! (stephsmata.wordpress.com)

She was kind enough to recommend a book on poetry and I couldn’t be more happier. A lot of you guys have commented about books and great films too, most of them already checked out and watched… and blogged about. Others, still on my TBR list. Haha.

The very first person who nominated me for an award! (manvsloneliness.wordpress.com)

 

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I have garnered awards and ever since receiving my very first one from Man  a series of them came flooding after and I couldn’t be more thankful! The amount of recognition I am getting is not what I’m after, after all, but I am always very much grateful to those who notice my rants, ehem, chocolates, and award me for them. Haha! I do not know what I might write about in the future, but I do know that they  will be an amalgam of flavours.

The very first person to feature me in her blog site! (idealizeblog.wordpress.com)

This person is just amazing. I never knew one could feature other bloggers, until she emailed me! The response rate since then spiked and I’m happy she still sticks around up until now. Despite my recent melancholic writings. Haha.

The very first person who invited me to write for another site about my love for films! (atthematinee.wordpress.com)

This dude is actually an angel. He saw my post on Kubo and the two strings and invited me to write on his site! He is not only kind, and very accommodating, but he really takes time to answer even my most trivial questions. I have not posted new stuff there yet, but for any of y’all still keen on reading my views on certain films, further posts will also be uploaded here so no worries, okay?

 

I scoured through my 299 posts and I laughed at how many my grammatical errors were. Hmmm? And nobody noticed? Or nobody even bothered to tell me? Hah! Well, that is not the issue though. I laughed at how, over the past few days, I have been so keen on writing and writing without even taking the time to review and reread my posts before publishing them. My posts became my drafts, simply put. And as I read and reread them, I somehow realized my consistencies, inconsistencies at times, and even my redundant words. LoL. I do not really know whether that is a good sign or not. All I know is, I am having a blast and I am liking every moment with this amazing community. I prefer it this way, though. Not having to think too much and just write whatever comes mind. Free flow writing. It is also mainly the reason why I get so ecstatic when someone likes my posts. They’re just rants that rhyme! Thanks, though. I hope you do read it and not just like everything. *smiles* I also noticed how swift my changes in perspective are. Haha. More than once, I have written consecutively, about happiness and sadness – in that order, sometimes in the eyes of the victim, and sometimes from the viewpoint of the cause of the pain. I never actually thought I could write like this. I have always contented myself with writing like how most of my peers do, “like how we see it in television”, but reading amazing blogs from amazing people has really helped me,I guess. Everyday, I get new ideas just from lines from different blogs and I jot them down. Everyday; sad, happy, frustrated, depressed, angry, I write (sometimes they take a while to get uploaded; phone bill issues.) Writing. Good writing is innate. Great writing isn’t. We are all creative, the artists are the ones who survive, as a fellow blogger so cleverly put it and I couldn’t agree more.

WHAT ABOUT MY CLOWN?

Whatever happened to the person I wrote most of my poems about? He knows this exists. I told him. Surprisingly, he likes it. Heh. He better. OR ELSE. It is too soon to tell whether I’d be over him, but I know I’m getting there. Contrary to public belief, my descent to madness came before the creation of this site. What I write, and will write (about him and us, particularly) are figments of my memories and reopened wounds. I learned, that sharing is not that bad, really. Keeping it in and choosing to hide from the fact that we are nothing more than friends now, is. So, to him, he can also celebrate my 100th day, if he wishes.

AND THE STORY BEGINS…

Over the past 100 days, I talked about my lies. I talked about the films I have watched. I talked about the movies I love. I also talked about what I feel about happens in my country. History, politics, and friendship. Why Ronald Weasley is my favorite fictional character. These and a whole lot more. I have a lot to share to a whole bunch of strangers and to the others I have started to know already. It was a great 100 day journey and I’ll be eating this ice cream, cheering and hoping for another hundred or so, more. And here’s to more people who will relate to the awesome weirdness and to the few brave souls willing to taste my chocolates! *pops confetti*