I am not fond of sugarcoating things. Granted, yes, I prefer poetry which tends to mostly be of prose and flowery words, but I am a pretty darn direct person. I tend to say what I want to say and blurt out things without even thinking. Tactless; you may call it that. And a tad sarcastic at times. Over the course of months, with the help of a newfound friend in social media (this blog actually) I have been examining myself and asking why I am the way I am and why certain people do not get me. And while it is easy to just shrug this off as, “fuck them, they don’t know me”, in the workplace, I have come to realize it is a highly different matter entirely. In a previous post, I have shared on how happy I was that I got in a company whilst still studying and that there was a potential for me to be absorbed after I graduate. Yes…long story short, I got in. Signed contracts. Got paid – Obviously; and in a matter of months, I was an official employee of the company. It did not take long for me to adjust as is the natural me and the work environment was (at first) so appealing and accommodating. Over time though, I have come to realize the many things I do not like in one institution, particularly the one trait that made my father lose his job, is in the company I currently worked for. Faced with such issues, and with the aforementioned attitude I have, words came flying quicker than any bullet train. Now, keep in mind that the workmates I have are friends (family friends, in fact) and colleagues back at my own alma mater. Hence, the comfortability of using cuss words and just being my own self without too much regard for GMRC. Anyway…long story short, they said my views were too immature and that when working, one must always think of the consequences of one’s words and that sometimes, some words are better left unsaid. I, on the other hand, being me and knowing them as friends, told them my story. Nevertheless, the consequences were dire. I was too honest. I told my employer I was leaving anyway by June. I told them I was applying for a certain company I wasn’t sure I’d get in. And yes, as any good employer would have done, they terminated the contract. There are two good things that came out of this. One. I no longer have to pay a training fee which I would have if I resigned. Two. It’s easier to leave like this. However, a major mistake is that I included them in most of the companies I applied for and just one call from the HR company would be the death of me! I am leaving on amicable terms, I tell you, but I was overly anxious at the time my brain waves may not have been working as properly as they could.
So there I was… about to be jobless two days before my birthday, just 15 days shy from the end of my contract. And so I did what any sane person would have done. I applied for other jobs I was sure I’d get accepted! When the going gets tough, you gotta be tougher! My mother raised no quitter so I immediately went right in to my dear old friend Google and looked for jobs within the vicinity. I tell you and kid you not! The process was tedious! For a whole week! I had to actually go to various companies passing resumes and stuff and had to endure examinations! At one point, I was even considering not pushing through in one company because I was tired and I had to take the same type of exams all over again and had to endure technical exams required for the position I was applying for which is probably a lot harder than the board examinations!
In a span of one week…
I have learned:
- Things will never go according to planned.
You could have a scheduled interview and examination for one day and then be called right back in the afternoon! And this …you gotta do all in one day. Imagine just having to go to one company vying for a position you are not the only one qualified for. It is tiresome. My parents weren’t kidding when they said that applying for a job is not an easy thing. The time, money, and effort it takes is beyond anyone can imagine.
- Prepare for vultures.
I know the term ‘vultures’ is a very harsh and uncategorical term but I swear, if someone stares down at me while interviewing me about my skills and why I am competent enough, I feel like I am a dead soul trying to convince them that I can somehow come back from the dead! HR questions are always just personal stuff and so easy to answer, but the feeling after taking the interview is what keeps bugging me. Fleeting moments of self-doubt and weariness overcome me after every interview. I have to work on it but yeah…it’s who I am for now.
- Prepare for calls that never come.
You are the applicant. Learn your place and don’t be too arrogant. If they say they will call you, you need to wait.
That third one? Hah! Crap. As an applicant, you must be eager. And boy was I eager. I had the news on the 30th of May that I was scheduled for an interview on the 1st of June. I got scheduled for the final interview at the same day too but unfortunately higher-ups were busy with certain matters on hand so I had to wait for the call. June 2nd came and I was literally bursting with anxiety. Did I get in or not? What was the point of asking me all those and reassuring me that they would train me and whatnots and that the job would be lucrative? Why then did I reach the final interview and not get so much as a “Oh sorry, you have not passed, you’re not hired. Thank you.” I emailed, texted, and followed up with regards to my application. I flat out asked them if I was still considered for the job and asked how long the process would be. Self pity was creeping down my back ready to blanket me for the night as I came back from another option (another possible employer) when they texted me. Gosh! They finally contacted me for the final interview! And there I was, phone at hand, knees shaking, talking to the management and the last question came. I gave my answer and in a split second… “Congratulations! Welcome to ___. You are now a part of our team.” Blah..blah..blah as questions for further requirements were given and I had to dazingly say yes to every one of them.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam indeed! To God be the Glory! He is good and gracious and merciful! In a week, just 13 days shy of my supposed contract termination, I am now a part of a team I want to be in. I am in a job I want and I will be doing what I do best. Work with numbers.
This is my story.
A week. 2 days. June 2nd. Birthday is in 15 days. This day (month!) could not get any better. Forgive me for being too brassy about it but I think I deserve this. I have had work prior to graduation and those have prepared me into being someone better not only as a writer, a professional and a person, but also as ME. I am never going to sacrifice my roots for anything at all and I am happy that I have found a place I feel comfortable in. I will start work immediately, tomorrow, and I am keeping my fingers crossed all the way to the end.
P.S. Yo! How cool is that? I get to leave for the training soon too! I am set to fly to Manila this Monday, June 5th. AMDG! Amen!
Now let’s flip the coin…
Theater has been such an inspiration for me ever since I was a kid. I grew up idolizing films like Phantom of the Opera and reading to plays of Shakespeare and watching Broadway Musicals. It seems fitting then that the last song I will share for the Song A Day Challenge is one from the likes of these. The song is entitled, For Good from the Musical Wicked. My favorite version is that of Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel. The play was about the two witches of Oz and their story. A story of friendship, love and forgiveness between friends, it is a tale truly fitting of the awards they have received. Idina played Elphaba which will later be known as the wicked witch and Glinda the Good was played by Kristin.
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done,
You blame me for.
But then I guess,
We know there’s blame to share.
And none of it seems to matter anymore.
I fell in love with the words and with the news I just shared now, this could not be more fitting. I have been through rough times, given the experience I just had with past employers and my mouth (oh sorry) being too spouty and tactless but I have learned. By the words of someone I highly admire, “I don’t call my secrets secrets because I am 100% me when I am with friends…” and I understand. One main factor of being not too much of a jerk is to not say bad things that can only hurt people. Not even behind their back. I have learned a lot from being too trusting and being taken advantage of and the lines of this song is my way of saying sorry and thank you to all the people I may have hurt. Because one thing is for sure – I may have, in one way or another, said some things and did things that hurt them… but we were friends for a time and if I hadn’t known them, perhaps…just perhaps… I haven’t been changed for good.
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.
I love you all! I know you miss me so I’ll be posting new chocolates soon! I assure you I didn’t stop writing. Just …went AWOL for a bit. Twitter became my buddy and someone named J. Hahah. Cheerios! Until the next laugh trip and happiness at its worst!
Meitantei signing off.