A Series of Not So Unfortunate Events

Okay. So first things first. I wrote this on my notebook (you’d know the story soon enough) because I cannot type so fast on my phone and I prefer scribbling than actually typing and having to see my misspelt words all at the same time.

Ever heard of Murphy’s Law? It was briefly mentioned in the film Interstellar.

Murphy: Why was I named after a bad thing?

Dad: What?

Murphy: Murphy’s Law. Just when you think that things couldn’t get any worse, they do.

Now what does this have to do with anything? You might ask. That’s just.. well… That’s how my day went. Today. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did.

1. I FORGOT WE HAVE AN EXAM. I DID NOT WEAR OUR SCHOOL UNIFORM. IF IT WEREN’T FOR A FRIEND, I WOULD NOT HAVE REMEMBERED.

This right here is not a problem. I am fully prepared for the exam and I know even of I hadn’t worn my school uniform, I can still enter the school’s premises. So… onto the next unfortunate event.

2. My boss, texted me an errand and I saw it late due to having to turn off my phone because of the examination. Okay. No big deal. It ain’t that urgent anyway. So I went on ahead, after lunch, to the office and IT WAS LOCKED. I knocked. Called out to anyone. Pushed the door. Nada. None. Zero. Nothing budged. I felt like an idiot, circling the office’s premises looking for a sign of life that could help me enter. Thankfully, my coworker arrived and now two of us were screaming! Haha. To no avail. Thanks heavens! After about a hundred (oh, okay maybe just a little over fifty) screams (oh, okay, maybe not that kind of scream you’re thinking) the door to PARADISE opened! Off to work!

And then to unfortunate event number 3.

3. The errand given involved something inside our boss’s room and the only person allowed inside, went someplace! No biggie, I told myself. I can wait. So I did. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Tsk. Yay! She arrived! I am saved!

4. CHRISTMAS TREE problem once again!

I look like a christmas tree. My backpack, behind me, a bag on my left shoulder, an envelope tucked under my right arm, and my phone and wallet in my hands. Top it all off with NO JEEPNEYS! (Jeepneys are the mode of transportation in the Philippines, just in case. Sorta like cabs but without the luxury of you being alone with the driver and it being so fast. Jeepneys are guaranteed to get you to your destination at twice the time a cab gets you to it).  I arrived at our client’s at a little after 3pm. I WAS BEHIND SCHEDULE! I need to move fast! I hurried with the task, not compromising anything and still doing the necessary. I said the proper compliments, bid goodbye, and presto! I was in and out in no time! But…

5. MY STOMACH IS A DRAMA QUEEN

Just as I was waiting for a ride onto my next destination, my stomach started a party all on its own. It hurt like hell! Damn! Murphy’s Law. I kept repeating. And yes. Murphy’ s Law indeed. For the next event ranked the number one spot for today’s  chart of WEIRDLY ANNOYING EXPERIENCES.

6. THE TAXI DRIVER IS A FLIRT

I have been living in this city for the better part of my twenty years of existence but I still haven’t been to every single place. That includes the next destination for today’s itinerary. I was to go to the TKK Tower Building to hand over certain papers to the PICPA office but I didn’t know where it is. Thank God for Google Street View!

I googled it and got a picture of the place to show it to the driver. I was familiar with the street, though. Just not the building. So I knew where to go. Just not where to stop. Haha. This was what happened right after I hailed a cab and got in.

TD: Diri ta sa wala? (Here on the left?)

M: Oo, sa wala. ( Yes. On the left.)

TD: Taga-aha man ka? (Where do you live?)

M: Taga diri ra japun. (Just around here)

TD: Aw. Aha man ka gaskwela? **? (Oh. So where do you go to school? At **?)

M: Dili. Sa ***.  (No. At ***.)

TD: Nganung naa man ka sa **? (Then why were you at **?)

M: Dadto lang ko nihunong kay gkan man ko sa isa ka cliente man gud. (Oh. I was from a client. I just stopped there.)

TD: Gtrabaho na diay ka? (So, you’re working?)

M: Oo. Hahaha. (Yes. Hahaha.)

TD: Pila man imong sweldo? (How much do you earn?)

M: Haha. Nganu man? Sweldo japun man. (Why? Still a salary.)

TD: Aw. Naa na kay uyab? Kay naa na mn kay trabaho. (Do you have a boyfriend? Since you’re working.)

M: Kuyaw. Wala pa. (Weird. No.)

TD: Mangita unta ka ug uyab. Kay naa na man ka trabaho. (You should look for one. Since you are now working.)

M: Haha. Di ko. Wa ko nanginahanglan ana. Ug gaskwela pa pud ko. (Haha. No. I do not need one. And besides, I am still a student.

TD: Aw. Unsa man ka tuig na? (What year are you in?)

M: Graduating. 4th year.

TD: Aw. Kung na manguyab sa imo, musugot ka? (If someone courts you, would you accept?)

M: Depende. (Depends)

TD: Kung taxi driver, musugot ka? (If a taxi driver courts you, would you accept?)

M: Haha. Depende. (Haha. Depends)

TD: Kung ako, musugot ka? Ako man ning taxi. (If it’s me, would you accept? I own this taxi.)

M: Kaluod. (Gross)

I wanted to punch him right then and there. I don’t care who he thinks he is. But nah, my stomach was acting crazy, so I just clenched my fists. And if it isn’t clear in the way I phrased the conversation, his tone was not friendly. AT ALL.

TD: Taga-aha man ka? (Where do you live?)

M: Taga diri ra japun. (Just around here.)

TD: Taga aha lagi. Kay ihatud tka. (Where exactly. I will drive you home.)

M: Luod. (Gross)

TD: Unsa ngalan nimo. (What’s your name?)

M: …

TD: Unsa ngalan nimo? (What’s your name?)

M: Seryoso ni? Shit. Hapit na ko maulit. Sarah. (Is this for real? Shit. I am about get pissed. Sarah.)

And yes, for futyre reference, Sarah is not my name.

TD: Apilyedo? (Surname?)

I looked around the surroundings and picked a believable street name.

M: Pacana.

TD: Aw. Tsada kayo ka ug ngalan. (You have a nice name.)

TD: Hands me his phone. Type in your number. I will text you. Sge na! (Type in your number. I will text you. Go ahead!)

M: Di ko. Wa mn koy cellphone. (No. I have no phone.

I was holding one! And he saw it. Haha!

Repeat that request 4 times!

Believe me, I was about to punch him. Serious.

Thankfully, I arrived at the destination before I could punch him and just as he was about to hand me my change… he winked.

I slammed the door on his face.

Insolent piece of shit.
Okay. Got that out of my system. Back to the main topic. As said, I did not know where the office was so I asked a guard.
M: Aha padulong sa PICPA office guard? (Where to the PICPA office, guard?)

G: Naay elevator sa right maam, 6th floor, maam. (There’s an elevator on the right. 6th floor, maam.)

I went. Arrived. Did not see it.

Went down one floor. Asked another guard.
M: Mao ni ang PICPA office? (Is this the PICPA office?)

G: Sa taas maam. (The floor above, maam.)

M: Wala man nko nakita. Aha dapit ato? (I did not see it. Where, exactly?)

G: Subaya lang pagsulod nimo maam. (Just go in right at the end of the hall, maam.)

M: Oh, okay. Salamat. (Oh, okay. Thanks.)
They must think I am stupid! Haha!
So… arrived. Business transacted. Done.

Only one more place left to go to.

BANK.
It was almost 5 in the afternoon and my stomach is killing me so…

TAXI!

7. Upon arrival, I had to do the necessary. Fill out the necessary form for my transaction and wait. IN LINE. I HAD TO WAIT IN LINE! WHY? WHY OH WHY? Can’t I be on the express lane? My stomach is having a very active rave party! But no, I had to queue. And so I did. Finally, my turn came and then… I HAD TO WAIT AND STAND THERE EVEN LONGER THAN NECESSARY because the attendant had to attend to something, apparently more pressing than me, and THE RAVE PARTY IN MY STOMACH.
And yes. Murphy’s Law.

Attendant: Ma’am, the date here says September 25. You may only deposit this on this date or onwards.

Me: Oh, okay. Thank you so much.

See? Well, on the bright side, my exam wasn’t hard and I got through the day okay, and I am unharmed. Save for my ego because of an idiotic cab driver. I decided to log out of work by 6 in the evening, faced with nothing left to do and the fact that my class starts by 7:30pm.
sigh
Exhausted as I was, I found myself going to the mall. And … tea time! Nothing better than tea! Right? It’s my second time here at Bubble Tea and I am excited. Waiting for my order, I readied my table so I could write today’s MARVELOUS (note the sarcasm embodied in the capital letters) events. I looked over a few emails and found a blog on 2016’s EMMY AWARD WINNERS. So, allow me a little bit of segue.

I am stoked that Game of Thrones won the Outstanding Drama Series, although I would have prefered House of Cards won it. But still, GoT is not a bad series so I can let it slide. The  Oustanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series award goes to Rami Malek of Mr. Robot, and … I KNEW IT! His acting is perfect! Outstanding TV movie was won by my, so far, favorite episode of this series yet, SHERLOCK: THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE. Apart from its (as usual) beautifully written screenplay and the awesome performances of Benedict and Martin, this movie was wonderfully edited and directed! And in its core is one, timely and yet also classic issue, of today. Feminism. A truly deserving winner.

And although Bryan Cranston and Benedict Cumberbatch failed to grab the award for Outstanding Lead Actor, I am glad Courtney Vance won it. His performance in The People v. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story is one for the charts, I tell you.

Obviously, The Voice won the award for Outstanding Reality Competition and the talked about episode The Battle of the Bastards won for the Outstanding Directing Category.

So… as excited as I was to share this all with you and to write them all down in paper, I realized….

8. I HAD NO PEN!

SERIOUSLY? I thought.

You’re probably laughing at my misfortunes for the day. If only you saw my face. I was frantic! I practically emptied my backpack to be sure!

Yep. I had no pen. I excused myself. Told a waitress I would be gone for a little while and bought a pen.
Then wrote this.

Then typed it.

Now, you’re reading it.
P.S.

JCC Black Milk Tea helped me get over this day.

Yes, that includes the flirty idiot cab driver.
Now, I’m off to school for my class.

What unfortunate event do you think is in store?
Come on universe! That the best you got?

P.P.S.

It’s raining here. I am stuck in the mall!Maybe challenging the universe was a bad idea, after all.

P.P.P.S. (If there is such a thing)

I arrived at school by 8pm and we have no class! Yay!