Why does it hurt so bad?

Staring at the screen

trying to conjure up a scene

Of laughter and smiles

but all that comes to mind

is the very fact you left me

and that I let you

leave me behind.
I know I said I was happy

and believe me I am.

But just because I am

doesn’t mean it is not

Just because I am smiling

doesn’t mean the tears 

are not falling.
I have learned through time

to stop crying with my eyes

but now my heart 

is breaking by the minute

knowing you are not, 

will not, 


and never have been

someone I can call



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